Setting my voice free!

June 3, 2020

Setting my voice free! (Series of 4) — mixed media on paper, 4.5 in x 6 in — ***Setting my voice free! (Series of 4)*** — mixed media on paper, 4.5 in x 6 in

Setting my voice free! (Series of 3) — mixed media on paper, 9 in x 12 in — ***Setting my voice free! (Series of 3)*** — mixed media on paper, 9 in x 12 in

This week I learned, yet again — the harder the challenge, the more satisfying the result.

The second class and assignment for the expressive arts course I’m taking was crazy hard. I resisted and fought the assignment at every step of the way. It was emotionally challenging, and I had to dig deep to complete the work. Oddly enough… I LOVED it! Why? Because when a mountain is so high and so hard to climb, reaching the summit is the best feeling in the world!

I’m taking an inspiring online course with twenty international artists taught by Roseline de Thelin, a fantastic interdisciplinary visual artist based in Ibiza, Spain. Our second Zoom class, Lab #2, was an exercise in painting intuitively and letting go. In class we created a playful piece where all we did was experiment on one sheet of paper. I abandoned thought and judgement while painting and just played. It was fun to be free and simply play with paint and tools!

Next came the hard part. I assumed we would play in class and throw the paper away, so I let loose. But, um, nope. It was the exact opposite! This paper was the basis for a series we were to create as part of our assignment. (This is when the panic and resistance set in hard.) Um, what?! The basis of my next series is this mess I’d just made?!? A muddy mess to be exact. It had no direction and was far from a piece of art. It was crap. Ugh. Starting a new series from crap sounded like a chore. No fun at all. A recipe for disaster and failure.

*Meet my muddy mess, the original piece created in class, Lab #2*

Boy, was I ever surprised! My assignment sat on the floor of my studio for a week, untouched, as I resisted doing anything with it. I considered painting for a bit and calling it done, knowing it wouldn’t go anywhere and would result in a sad, failed piece of “art”. But after stepping over it for a week, I decided to just go for it. After all it could only go up from here! No need to worry about creating an awful piece, because I’d already done that. So there was nothing to lose, right? So I abandoned judgement, my need to produce, my need to create a successful outcome and simply painted.

This loose, unplanned, unsuccessful muddy mess turned into one of my favorite series I’ve worked on to date! I created two sets within the series — a series of 3 paintings and a series of 4 paintings. While I feel most comfortable with a plan and a vision, I’m starting to think that having no expectations and a minimal plan might be the best way to start a piece. Or at least having a loose set of expectations with a vague idea, maybe. I love these pieces because they feel like they have an authentic voice — free, spontaneous, bold, energetic, full of life, untamed and unedited.

(Below is a video that shows the result of the lab, from the initial muddy mess to finished pieces.)

Several aha moments happened for me during this experience, and I plan to take them with me moving forward:

Leave paint strokes alone, without editing while wet.
Bold strokes/movements give a painting strength and direction.
Paint in short stints without overthinking or overworking. Less is more. Then let it dry and re-evaluate later.
Variety in strokes, colors, shapes and textures with minimal repetition is key to creating interest.
Sponges and large scrapers are crazy fun to work with.
Leave room for breath in a piece — white space. It's almost the most important part of a composition. Maybe the most.
Have fun while painting without holding an outcome in mind. The best work comes from this flow.

I feel like I climbed Mount Everest during this assignment, and now I’m jumping while at the summit with my arms wide open looking up into the sky with gratitude. I have a huge smile on my face, and I am feeling amazing satisfaction knowing that I pushed through my fears, biases and stubborn resistance. I know the sky’s the limit when I let loose, so I’m excited to see what my next pieces look like!